I’ve had an interesting and amusing email conversation (and I use that word rather loosely, as you’ll see) with someone who sent a post to a list of which I am the owner and moderator.

The list’s purpose is to allow people to give away items they no longer want, and ask if anyone has any items for free that they would need, all within a fairly close geographic location.  It’s a great idea.  My group does, however, have a few rules.

Subject lines for emails for the list, in order to be accepted, have to have one of (OFFER, WANTED, TAKEN, RECEIVED), followed by a brief description of the item, followed by your location.  I don’t care about punctuation or capitalization, and will even allow poor spelling as long at the action word is spelled correctly and the subject itself is reasonably understandable to the average joe.  I also don’t correct the posts for them, preferring for them to send a corrected post.  Sort of a “teach a man to fish” rather than a “give a man a fish” approach, is how I view it.

So, I got a couple of entries from this person, Cassie Barbosa, and the subject lines were formatted incorrectly.  I responded to both, informing her of how to correct the formatting of her subject lines so that her posts would be acceptable.  The 2nd email, which had a subject line of “wanted...chairs” (note the missing location), was what she responded to.

The email trail follows, in chronological order.

First, Cassie writes to the list, as she needs chairs:

From: Cassie Barbosa
To: [name redacted]
Subject: wanted...chairs

i have a kitchen table that has benches and they are starting to break so if anyone has a couple chairs (small)that i can use i would LOVE IT!!!! thanks in advanced

I respond back, telling her how to get her post into acceptable form:

From: Me
To: Cassie Barbosa
Subject: RE: wanted...chairs

Again, your post is fine except the Subject line has to have a verb, the item, and a location.  Like this:

WANTED: chairs (Stratford)

Thanks!

Apparently, she has authority issues:

From: Cassie Barbosa
To: Me
Subject: RE: wanted...chairs

ummm i will type it however i want to thanks

im leaving your group anyway

I write back, trying to tell her that’s it’s not personal, but the list has rules:

From: Me
To: Cassie Barbosa
Subject: RE: wanted...chairs

You’re certainly welcome to type it however you wish (in fact, you could even grab the sample that I sent to you).  However, per the list rules, they only get posted if it says (offer or wanted or taken or received), the item description, and the location.  I don’t even care about capitalization or punctuation.  That’s not too much to ask, is it?

Anyway, best of luck to you in your travels though.  You’re always welcome back, I’d love for you to get the chairs you need.  And keep on [name redacted]!

Now she continues the unprovoked (and I might add, sloppy) rudeness:

From: Cassie Barbosa
To: Me
Subject: RE: wanted...chairs

um.....i belong to milford and bridgeport ct and went into your site by accident and i dont know how you do things in canada but over here we can do it however we want so keep making up your little rules n stuff peace

At this point, I’m having some fun.  After all, what good is having an animal in a cage if you don’t poke it with a stick:

From: Me
To: Cassie Barbosa
Subject: RE: wanted...chairs

Did you not receive emails when you signed up for Stratford [name redacted]?  Those emails should have informed you as to:

- location (Stratford, Ontario, Canada and the surrounding area)
- posting rules (already been covered)

There you would have seen, or at least should have seen, that the rules for the Subject line aren’t being made up as we go along, but rather were in place before you even got here.

Mind you, the posting rules for this group aren’t the same across all of Canada, so I cannot really speak to “how [we] do things in Canada”.

I find it to be a little strange, though, as to how you could have accidentally signed up for this group.  You did read either the welcome page on YahooGroups, or the welcome emails if you signed up strictly via email, didn’t you?  That would seem to be prudent.

Have a pleasant day, Cassie.

Her writing and communication skills really shine through on this one:

From: Cassie Barbosa
To: Me
Subject: RE: wanted...chairs

omg get the fuck over it man i dont belong to your site anymore..i dont even live in Canada, so peace homie

Now I decide to poke with an even bigger, sharper stick, just to see if I can get a real reaction:

From: Me
To: Cassie Barbosa
Subject: RE: wanted...chairs

Very interesting juxtaposition, being crass and rude (to someone you don’t even know, I might add) and then ending it with a thoughtless “peace homie”.  I wonder, do you end your emails thus to try to assuage yourself of being completely callous, as if to undo the carelessness of your opening?  Or is it more just an automatic response, like saying, “Fine.” when someone inquires how you are, without regard for who’s asking or how you actually feel at the time?

I would add that you didn’t answer my questions.  Did you read the group introductions (web or email), or did you give them the same thoughtful consideration you seem to afford your email message composition?

Her piece de resistance:

From: Cassie Barbosa
To: Me
Subject: RE: wanted...chairs

NOOOOO i dont read gay info sorry and by the fucking way “peace homie” is how i end my shit because where im from thats how we say bye dummy so maybe all the shit you just wrote to me you should read over and ask your self the same questions PEACE HOMIE!!!!

My response to this?  This blog entry you’re now reading, the URL of which I sent to her, for her clicking and reading enjoyment.  With any luck, we’ll get some further examples of her fine acumen in the comments.  Hope does spring eternal.

*** UPDATE ***

I have a couple of more emails to report.  First, my email to her letting her in on my blogging fun:

From: Me
To: Cassie Barbosa
Subject: RE: wanted...chairs

Thought you might find this of interest:

[url of this post here]

And again, pleasant day to you.

And then Cassie plays the “I’m going to turn my public humiliation into a victory” card:

From: Cassie Barbosa
To: Me
Subject: RE: wanted...chairs

ok so you just proved to me that an even BIGGER LOSER then i thought making a blog about it hahahahahhaahhahahahahhaha what a fcking DOUCHE you are have a great one

Honestly?  I’m a little disappointed she didn’t grace me with another “peace homie”.  I guess the extended irony would have been lost on her though.  I’m still holding out hope for some blog comments from her.  *crosses fingers*

My mom always tells me that stupidity should be painful, and I tell her, time and time again, “it IS painful!” I suffer every day of my life. 

I was going through, counting all of the words that Cassie probably wouldn’t understand, but a. that would be most of them, and b. she admitted herself that she “dont read gay info.”

That’s the biggest reason why I try to have fun with stupid people, Statia.  If I didn’t find amusement, I’d cry.

I grant to you that there is never need for rudeness. However, crassness can not be helped by some.  Not everyone has the wherewithal to obtain a higher education and refinement.  And, unfortunately, not all public schools are equal to achieve the basics.

By all means, call someone out for rudeness. 

But for the lesser refined and educated, try exemplifying the difference and offer encouragement to bridge the gap rather than place someone less fortunate for display.

Or is the gap only in education?

Well, cornfed, it wasn’t the utter lack of sophistication that prompted me to put Cassie on display so we could point and laugh as though her ignorance were some sort of circus geek of old.  No, it was her uncalled for rudeness that prompted it.  Her unsophistication is simply what makes it so damned funny.  It’s not schadenfreude when they have it coming.

*riposte - parry - reprise*
Agreed that the first few exchanges demonstrated unprovoked and uncalled for rudeness, despite your offerings of explanation and assistance (a great quality to be sure).

But you then followed with a confrontation, I can only assume meant to goad a response from Cassie.

Then as a final act, you made an attack of such nature that requires both a savvy and sophistication (both clearly lacking in Cassie) to defend against by blogging the transaction.  And then assuage yourself by sending Cassie the link, not to be hiding anything from her, in hopes of some additional attempt at retort? 

You are correct, that is not schadenfreude.  And that is not consistent with your nature, which is exemplified in the first couple exchanges.

ur site iz gay.

lol