Statia and I were having an IM conversation, and it drifted (as conversations are occasionally wont to) into the subject of personal lubricant.

me : You want natural and organic?  Use lard, like our ancestors did.
her: mmm lard
her: bacon fat
me : Yup.
me : Grease up like piggies and have at it.
her: i wonder if you’d smell like cooked bacon once you really got going
her: like breakfast wafting from your bedroom
me : No, not enough friction to get it cooking.
me : If you could, it’d be a LOT more popular.
me : You combine the feel-goodness of sex with the smell of freshly cooked bacon?
me : I’d never leave the house.  Well, just to buy more bacon.
her: yeah, but then you have the smelling like bacon from your crotch all the time
her: and as a woman
her: i don’t know that i’d like that
her: once in a while, its ok
her: but what if you’re on Safari in Africa?
her: that could be dangerous
me : I don’t think the lions differentiate too much.
me : Whether it smells like bacon or regular crotch funk, it’s all good to a lion.
her: hahaha
me : But for us humans?  If you could have it smell like bacon instead of risking even slight crotch funk, you’re saying you wouldn’t?
her: maybe not all the time
her: but you know, I do use soap
her: maybe for the person who never washes, I’d prefer bacon over crotch funk
me : Bacon-scented douche.
me : Distilled water, hint of rose hips, and essence of bacon.
me : For the discriminating hussy.
me : BAHAHAHA
her: HAHAHAHAH
me : I should almost blog that.
me : I’d need your permission, though.
her: i was going to blog it too.
her: hahahah
her: seriously
her: how can we not let the world know about this conversation

*sniff* Hmmm, bacon.  Some one got Luck!

Yeah that works.  Doesn’t matter if you had sex or just had bacon.  Either cause is good.

I’ve heard coconut oil (you can get it in the cooking aisle) that starts off as a lard-like consistency but melts quickly (very quickly) is good for that.  And it makes your respective personable parts silky smooth.

Just remember you don’t confuse the bedroom can with the kitchen can that you actually use to cook with!

Ten bucks I killed the comments with my TMI.

Use soaps - haha
interesting conversation

Cool. Doesn’t matter if you had sex or just had bacon.  Either cause is good.