Okay, here we go...

ScratchingTheItch.com may contain content that shouldn't be viewed by minors.  If you are under 18 years of age, you might want to go elsewhere.  You should be doing your homework or making yourself a better citizen or something.  Do your parents know you're surfing all willy-nilly on the untamed Internet?

Okay, that's the "be responsible for the sake of the kids" thing out of the way.  If you're a minor and still want to view the content on this site, it's your business.  Now for the "sensitive" types...

On ScratchingTheItch.com, you may be subjected to questionable and potentially offensive words, like "fuck", "shit", "perriwinkle", and the like.  Although we are not "smut artists" and only use such naughty, bad phrases when we feel it is necessary or important, we make no promises about the "cleanliness" of the content.  If viewing such material is offensive to you, go to another site.  I'm sure there's some good church sites somewhere.  At least, so they tell me.

Comments about the content will be reasonably dealt with.  Comments about the offensiveness of the content will either be ignored or publicly ridiculed, according to our whim.  If your child has been to our site and saw something that you feel is inappropriate, look in the mirror for the source of the problem.  Yes, I am directly saying that you are the problem, Chester!  Monitor what your kids are doing, gosh darn it to heck!  Try making a real attempt at being a good parent, okay?  Don't come to us with your fists raised in anger, demanding that we change our site.  We tend to laugh at such people.

Well, to sum up, if your parents wouldn't want you here, or if you are easily offended, bugger off already.  You have been warned.